Stacey is a strong and independent businesswomen who has always wanted to start a family.
In 2023, she started the adoption process as a single adopter, following an unsuccessful IVF journey.
Here she talks about her journey…
“Adoption felt like the natural, right route for me as my nieces are adopted and I had considered adopting for many years.
My only worry was being a single person, would that go against me? but what does a perfect family look like these days, they come in all shapes and sizes.
You’ll be surprised when you start the process that they are just looking for people that can give a child a good life.”
Going through the process
Throughout the process Stacey and her social worker built a strong relationship and got to know each other really well, which she says was so important.
When I read the report about me at the end of the assessment, I was surprised how it was like ‘WOW, that’s me!’ Everything was explained to me really well and my social worker was always on hand if I had any questions.”
Stacey was approved to adopt in 2024 and one month later was match with Elias under early permanence.
Being matched through Early Permanence
“When I first met Elias, he was two days old and fast asleep. He arrived straight from hospital at 7pm and I just sat and looked at him for a while. It was so surreal that he was really here.”
Stacey cared for Elias whilst court proceedings were on going and took part in birth parent contact, visiting his birth mum four times per week for over a year.
“If you’d have asked me before, I was a bit worried about hostility towards me as an adopter, but it wasn’t like that at all. It was a real benefit as it gave us a chance to get to know each other. She feels comfortable that I’ve adopted him and it gave me the opportunity to know things about him that aren’t written down on a piece of paper.
It also gave me the chance to get to know her, not just someone else’s description of her; and I even met his gran which I wasn’t expecting.”
Stacey says that early permanence can appear a bit daunting, but it was well explained to her and was clearly a good route for her to take.
““I’m surprised more people don’t do early permanence. Yes, there is a risk but, I used to look at Elias throughout the process and think this is what he’s like now, this is what he’d be doing with another family and I’d have missed that.”
“It’s better that you take the hard bit as the adult rather than inevitably the child being attached to another family and then they’ll be separated.”
Elias is now two years old and settled into family life. As a self-proclaimed, independent, ‘workaholic’ Stacey says it’s been a smooth transition to taking a step back and relying on other people.
“It was a big change for me, but I found it easier than expected. My social worker did raise how I would cope without that sense of achievement from work, but I do have that, just in a different way.
“I’d also underestimated how important a support network was. I thought I was going to smash it but then on week two of the night feed I thought actually, I could do with someone coming to help so I can sleep.”
Adopting again
Stacey has just started the adoption process for the second time, where she hopes to do early permanence again. When asked what she’d say to people thinking about adopting she said:
“Start the process! Don’t delay because you’re worried about having the perfect home, good enough finances or the right time; there’s a period of time in the process. Make that first enquiry and I think you’ll find out loads about adoption that you didn’t know.”