Having a family was always important for Iqbal and Ayesha. When they got married in their mid-20s, they thought that children would come naturally, but after a few years of trying it was clear this wasn’t the case.
Taking the first steps into adoption
Adoption felt completely unfamiliar. “We didn’t know anyone who’d adopted,” Iqbal says. “Everything I thought I knew came from TV and films – and adoption isn’t always shown positively.”
“We worried about everything,” Ayesha shared. “Our finances, our house, whether we earned enough. We underestimated ourselves and whether we were ‘good enough’ to take care of a child.”
What helped was speaking openly with their social worker right from the start.
“She was so honest and reassuring,” Iqbal explains. Instead of feeling judged, Iqbal and Ayesha felt supported. “Our social worker felt more like a friend helping us find a child,” Ayesha says. “That changed everything.”
Learning about Early Permanence
During the process, the couple learned about early permanence (sometimes known as foster to adopt), something they hadn’t known existed before.
“That was completely new to us,” Ayesha explains. “We thought adoption only happened after everything went through court.”
Their social worker told them about a baby girl, Khadija, who needed an early permanence placement. She was just nine months old.
““The first time we met Khadija, all my worries about adoption just disappeared,” Iqbal says. “She had the chubbiest cheeks, the biggest eyes. She was just perfect.”
Not long after their daughter turned three, Iqbal and Ayesha decided to adopt again. “This time wasn’t as easy,” Ayesha explains. “We had matches fall through, and it was emotionally exhausting.” After nearly two years of waiting, they were close to giving up.
“Then, out of the blue, we got a call,” Iqbal says. “There was a baby – she’d just been born – and they wanted us to meet her.” Their second daughter, Hafzah, came to live with them at just 17 days old through the early permanence route to adoption once again.
Faith and adoption
As Muslim adopters, Iqbal and Ayesha took time to explore how adoption aligned with their faith.
“I did a lot of reading before we started,” Ayesha explains. “What I found was that adoption absolutely fits with Islam, as long as you’re open and honest with your children about their story.”
With support from their family, they were able to follow both their faith and the adoption process in a way that felt right for them.
“It became a family effort,” she says. “No one hesitated to help.”
Life now
Today, Iqbal and Ayesha are busy parents to two much-loved little girls.
“Adoption for us has been amazing. It’s the best thing we’ve ever done” says Iqbal.
Ayesha agrees. “If anyone is thinking about adoption but feels unsure, I’d say don’t underestimate yourself. You’re capable of far more than you realise.”
Find out more
If you’re thinking about adopting and want to find out more, contact your local adoption agency.